OH, hello!

God has this elusive way of making you like someone you don’t really like. It’s amazing how He does it with me. Okay so you won’t get confused with how random that thought just came right at you, let me give you a bit of a background about me.
I am the kind of person who likes everybody and I like to think everybody likes me too. Haha! I am kind and sweet, if I do say so myself. Not to brag but it’s just who I am! But I can look like I’m not empathetic when someone gets physically ill, because the nurse in me just pops right out, and I’m on the nurse mode (even though I haven’t really practiced this profession.. )
Anyway, I do like people. I’m laying it out there. But there are just some moments when certain people don’t rub off on me well. Like, I just met them and I have no idea who they are, but I already know I’m not gonna like them. I can sense they have an ‘attitude’, and so far I’ve always been right, 99% of the time. I’d like to think it’s a gift. haha!
God, though, in His awesomeness and loving personality, calls all of us to love one another. I’d like to argue that I love people, but some of them I just don’t like. I don’t hate them, but I don’t particularly like them either. And that’s okay! What I’m saying is, because of our love for people, we will eventually like them.. I don’t know when eventually will come but it will!
That’s where I’m going with this. Since coming to college, there’s this one person I met who is challenging to be with. You know those people who just have different wavelength of thinking than you. And one particular close friend of mine also have a hard time with her, especially since they live in the same house. I know I know, you might be saying she should just move out. But the thing is, we can’t always run when challenges come, right? And in her situation, she prayed about it and felt the Spirit of God tell her to stay.
Recently though, I had the chance of serving alongside this person in a conference, and we’ve been serving together for a week. I didn’t ‘not like’ the situation, but I just took it in as it is. It’s not like I have to hang out with her all the time. But then!!! Remember when I told you God has an elusive way of making you like someone you’re not a fan of? Well, somehow I found myself hangin’ out with this chica during our break times. It was still quite challenging at times, but then suddenly there was a shift in our conversations. And I began to notice the changes in her. I saw how more giving she is in our conversations, how more pastoral she is with people. She cares about the odd one out person. She listens, and she doesn’t argue anymore. I wasn’t looking for changes, yet I saw them. And I began to realize how God is so amazing, because He didn’t only change her, but He changed me through her.
Sometimes in life we can be too caught up with our pre-judgments of people. They’re too popular for me, they’re too smart for me, too talented, too cool, and we let those reasons bound us from reaching out to them. I am so guilty of this a lot of times. As I’d like to say, with some people, I just don’t have a “natural” flow of conversation. And it’s weird for me because I’m usually good at talking with people, even strangers (my friends can attest to this).
I have learned how to challenge myself with reaching out more to people, or even as simple as just starting to engage with them in small talks. I am in no way saying these things because I’m an expert at this- far from it even! But we shall not despise small beginnings, even with that simple “hi” can become deeper than the Mariana trench kind of friendship.
I hope you’re having a lovely day! Thanks for reading.

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/ Unedited /

Five years today.
To be quite seriously honest, August is the hardest month for this joyful lady (that’s me!). It’s quite hard to remain happy when you live sandwiched between two of the most heartbreaking days of my life (thus far). 8th of August and 27th of August. Those 20 days in between, I choose to wake up each day, pull myself out of bed, go through the busy day, and end it with a cup of tea and journal in my other hand, alone in the living room, reflecting the day’s episode, then close my eyes and sleep- miraculously with a smile on my mouth.
I cannot (not without effort on my part) adequately describe why & how, despite my current state of ‘loving my life’, yet this day, 27th of August, is still discombobulatedly loyal to a melancholic heart. I can only wish and hope that someday, one day, these dates will be replaced by a day much more heartsickeningly beautiful memory.
While I’m glad August is almost over, I’m also glad I’m still in it.
I can, however, genuinely say, that there hasn’t be so much fruit of maturity in my life than the past five years have brought.
Tragedies do come and go. Heart breaks confound us to step on the brakes here and there. But everyday is a choice to move on and let go.
Sometimes, nonetheless, we have to be honest and face days such as this, and let ourselves lose and allow ourselves to shed a tear or heck cry a river, if only to maintain normalcy in this not-so-normal world. It is times like these though that I personally take time to reflect and engage with my inner self. Reflect on the good times, even the bad times. Reflect on the goodness of God and His faithfulness in my life.
Be unapologetic. Live life and not only survive, but thrive. For what is a heart beat if your heart does not beat with the melodies of a beautiful song that is life?

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Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart

How many of you out there can honestly say you’ve never been heart broken? I believe each and every one of us have experienced different kinds of heartbrokenness. Small or large scale, it’s the same thing= our hearts got broken. It can be through a disappointment when you didn’t get the job you wanted, failure because you failed your school degree, broken up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, divorce, or even unrequited love, or it can be as simple us patiently waiting for the day to end so you can go home and eat that delicious lasagna you made last night, only to find out your roommate ate it! (yeah sadly that last one does happen!)
So, Jenna, what’s the point of this post? I am curious to know how everyone deals and get over their broken hearts. I am well aware of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. All of which happens with broken hearts as well. Give or take one or two. I want to share what helped with mine.
Cry. A lot. Then Let it go. photo cred: picsymag
Believe me it helps. Letting it all out and cry out to God. Whine to Him, complain, etc. He will not be shaken, in fact, He’s not surprised at all. At the end, choose to let it go. Let go of the pain and bitterness. Don’t let it soak you up and define you. Don’t let the failure win. Rise above. And it begins with that first decision. Because you do have to decide everyday that you choose to be better.
2. Do things that cheer you up.
For me it’s a lot of things: reading, watching tv series/ youtube videos/ movies, journaling, eating (heck yeah!), and not to sound very spiritual but reading the Bible and spending hours and hours with Jesus. You can do rock climbing, computer games, traveling, singing, take up that dance lessons you’ve always wanted to do!..
3. Socialize
Yep! Don’t lock yourself up and mope around all day. You have friends! Use them! haha. Seriously though, they are there to help you, listen to you, be with you.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Rainbow after the rain. Promise behind the pain. Hold on to HOPE. That it’s gonna be okay. Sure, it is painful now, I will never even begin to understand how much pain you carry in your heart. I have my own, you have yours, everybody carries them differently. But one thing is for sure, it’s not gonna last forever. Trust God that He has a great plan and purpose for you. That it’s gonna be better, and the best is yet to come!
And from the other side of the world, there is a friend who is praying for you.
xoxo,

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