After time.

If you asked me 4 years ago if I can imagine myself having a close relationship with my mom again, I would have sternly answered you a “NO, not really.” (long story behind this)
But GOD is a GOD of miracles and restoration. He truly makes impossible things possible. Not even a year later, we were talking again. Every year since then I planned to make a post about how God’s restorative hands has healed this part of our family, but I still felt a “not yet” answer.
This time however was different. We are not completely “there yet” but my relationship with my mother has never reached this deep. We not merely talk about random girly topics, but we talk about Jesus and His Kingdom, how we can help more people and strategize for the Church.
I have to pinch myself everytime we have conversations like this. It’s unreal to me still!
I guess once you’ve hit that level of ‘I can’t keep doing this Lord!’ and yet choose to repeatedly having to choose to love and forgive someone who constantly makes choices that hurt me and this family. Until forgiving becomes easier and loving becomes you. Once you’ve gone past that, a deeper revelation and understanding of God’s love and forgiveness takes home in your whole being- mind, soul, spirit.
And so you grow. And continously pray. And you both grow. With maturity comes wisdom, with time comes healing. Old wounds leave a scar, yes, but it’s possible to be healed. You just have to choose to want it, receive it and embrace it. Cry and let it all out, choose to hate even. But never linger, let it go. Choose to let it go.
Some of you might believe what I say and some won’t, but as I can personally testify, all of these are not possible without the Lord Jesus. His love overwhelms and envelopes me. How He kept me company all the time, constantly encouraging and urging me throughout. To love even when I hate, to forgive even when it hurts, to give even when I completely ran empty.
At the end of the day, the choice is ours. Linger or let it go.

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